I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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