perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
