he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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