you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I had to cum in my sink.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize