I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
