Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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