I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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