Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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