I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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