Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize