What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize