so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the day after is always just damage control
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
