What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
