Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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