ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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