the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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