her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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