More tranny stories later!
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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