feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
