i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
