So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
