I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
