You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
