That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
