if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize