4 words: hood of his car
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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