Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
