I got chris browned last night
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
