sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
