Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
