It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
