Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
