Who did Billy Mays play for?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize