Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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