speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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