He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
