I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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