this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
