He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize