I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
