Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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