I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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