this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
