worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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