You smell like stripper and shame
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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