so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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