Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
