New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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