What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I believe in your delicious
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
