Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like eating out sand paper
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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