chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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