what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
