wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
