Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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