I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
