Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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