that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
