I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
