i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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